I'm tired

No metaphorical reference here, I'm just tired. Physically and emotionally tired ... well, I don't know if emotionally tired is the right phrase but maybe it is ... ? I've been up almost eighteen hours and I'm so tired I'm not sure I'd pass a test discerning left from right. Maybe I could? What about my name? I'm not sure anymore.

This has seriously been the craziest, most tiring weekend I've had in a s-u-p-e-r long time but you know what? I feel happy today. And honestly, I haven't felt happy, really happy, in a long time. As with most things, though, my tough shell is up because I don't feel like being an open wound for someone with a salt shaker. Ahh - there. I was wondering where my metaphorical mind went, but it's apparently come back. I'm tired of being the one that always takes care of things/people/stuff in life, and I refuse to be the pawn in the chess game of life from now on (hehe, I <3 metaphors).

Sleep needed.

Halloweeny

Ugh! I'm so frustrated with life I feel like giving up on everything, you know? I'm adjusting badly to the single life,  and feel stressed about school and just stuff in general, so my food intake has either been too much or too little. My acidophilus has been performing beautifully, however, and my stomach hasn't felt this good in over ten years. Who knew something so small could do something so big? I think it might also be combating the fact that my NSAID foot medicine makes me ill. Woot for cancelling out side effects!

My son and I are going trick-or-treating tonight, he as Optimus Prime and I as ... some sort of random witch-looking thing. I kinda just went to Kmart this morning and bought a witch hat, deciding at the last minute to enter into the Halloween spirit. I managed to hike through a haunted forest last night with my super good friend, of which I could not have gotten through it without him, so I'm thankful. It was also a lot of cardio, and I'm stupid sore today.

November should prove to be a better month, right? I can get back on track and focus on me again.

Sorry :(

The past two weeks have been awful, so my apologies for not writing. I don't know what happened, but I managed to contract some sort of stomach disorder that not only made me lose a lot of weight but made me not able to keep any food I ate inside my tummy. After securing a bottle of acidophilus, the stomach pain went away but isn't completely better yet. There's a small chance my arthritis medicine is making my stomach hurt. There's a contradiction, huh?

I was also in a car accident last Sunday, and I've been dealing with the aftermath of what happened this past week. Pulling out of my parent's driveway and trying to make a left turn, a lady came over the hill and ran into me. But, as luck would have it, since I didn't know the policeman that showed up on the scene and she did (local girl, her dad was the first responder on the scene) they ruled it my fault. Isn't life wonderful? My dad has my car working again, but the hood doesn't lay flat and the whole front bumper has been removed. I've had better times.

My boyfriend and I broke up yesterday, and all that has made me do is want to eat and feel sorry for myself. I'm lonely and sad and hurt, and I recognize that I'm trying to turn to food for comfort so it's an internal struggle to do the right thing. Today has not been a good day for that.

Hopefully I'll have the motivation to write more in the coming days, but for now I have a lot to try and heal from.

Moving is exhausting!

...and also some sweaty, labor-intensive work! I've done nothing but go on the hunt for house items for the past few days, then spent time at the new place getting it all set up. Just a few things left now, then hopefully beds will follow soon. I'm 212% drained of energy by about 7:45 every night, but it's just for a little while longer. On the plus side, I haven't been snacking or even eating as much as I previously had. Part of that is probably due to a stomach bug I had for a couple of days that made it impossible to eat, but still. I'm feeling better just really distracted and active. The less I think about my weight, the easier it is to lose pounds, it seems.