Bah humbug!

I don't even care about this stupid contest anymore, I'm just ready to move and start over. Problem is, I'm a stress eater, a worry eater ... my life right now has been nothing but stress and worry, so yeah - I'm probably gonna gain a couple of pounds before I can be in my new structured settings. I'm going to think about moving back home like going to the Biggest Loser ranch - I'm not going to be allowed to overeat, and I'll be forced to move around. Weight just has to come off then, right?

I'm hoping. I only have a few more weeks left here in Minnesota, then I hit the road. Metaphorically and physically, I might add. The road to weight loss and the road back to Kentucky. Things are going to be better there, I know it.

I still have habits that I picked up here - lots of water, no soda, (mostly) watching what I eat, so I know it won't be hard to get back into the swing of things. I've just been so concentrated on everything and everyone else around me right now, I've sort of forgotten about myself.

As usual.

Uh-oh

Yeah, I gained weight. I'm not shocked, so I wasn't disappointed. I had a horrible month what with being sick and the pulled muscle in my back and just a generally distraught emotional state. The closer I get to leaving, the more I stop caring about this stupid contest. Okay ... it's not that stupid, and I know I need to lose the weight, but right now I'm completely unmotivated and focused on getting stuff ready to move.

I know things will be better once I move and join an actual gym and have regulation to my meals. Weight should come off like butta ... but in the meantime? One word.

Blah.

Finally!

Ahh ... after weeks of sleeping on the floor, I finally have an air mattress! Of course, it didn't come with a pump, but after an hour of using my hair dryer last night, it's mostly inflated and we slept fairly well for the first time in ... well ... a few weeks.

"That time of the month" being over, and my back starting to un-kink itself, I feel like I might be returning to myself again. I was sick, then had back troubles ... can't walk outside due to never-ending rain and cold (seriously, it's May!), so I haven't had the best month. I'm ready to just get the weigh-in over with tomorrow, then start fresh for my last month of the challenge. I may not win, but I'll have given it a good shot. When I get back to Kentucky, I plan on joining the Curves in town and working off some of this weight. It will feel good to finally take a deep breath again and unload some of this weight-sticking stress.

Today, I made a great salad for lunch, it looked fabulous - only when I started topping it did I realize my dressing had gone off. Boo, I had to throw the whole thing away! So instead, I ate a Lean Cuisine panini and a Yoplait yogurt. Brought one back to work, too.

Deals, deals, deals!

So, in my quest for all things cheap and heavily-discounted, I came across this site yesterday called http://www.couponchief.com/. Since I'm a sucker for online shopping, this is a good find, because it has all types of online coupon codes to a bazillion stores. And really ... I don't buy anything without a coupon code.

Since I'm of the bigger persuasion, I'm always on the lookout for Lane Bryant coupons. That store has some amazing deals, you know, if you can hit them on clearance. Right now, though, I'm completely opposed to paying $70 for a pair of jeans, or a shirt or something. Maybe when I'm lean and mean, though ... maybe then ...

I'm also really getting into Dooney & Bourke lately, which is totally not like me at all. But you know, sometimes classy is classy and I thought maybe having a sweet key fob, or agenda ... or *cough* a handbag or something would look really swell for the job interviews I'm inevitably going to be having in these coming months. I really like the Macy's coupons from this site, because again - I refuse to pay full-price for anything but household items, and even then it's a stretch. This way, I can slobber all over Dooney & Bourke or Coach bags and consider actually buying something that might fit in my tiny budget.

Other than the aforementioned stores, you can get all kinds of coupon codes from Coupon Chief, for everything from weight-loss stores (woohoo!), clothing, groceries, children's shtuff - it's really neat. The best part? You can actually get paid to share your coupons, how awesome is that? For every coupon you share and someone uses, you get 2% of the sales! Holy buckets, that's cool!

Okay, so now I'm done touting the awesomeness of Coupon Chief. I'm going to go back to applying extreme heat to my back in the hopes of smoothing out this nasty pulled muscle. I'm dreading weigh-in on Friday :(

Ripley's Believe It or Not

I'm pretty sure I have the plague; in fact, I was just about convinced of it yesterday. After enduring mockery at my expense from my mother, I realized that I do not in fact have the plague. What I do have, however, it a never-ending pulled muscle in my back, and days of diarrhea. Sounds fun, I know, but believe me - its glamour is overrated. With the enduring rain and cold, my pulled muscle and this bug that seems to have taken up temporary residence in my stomach, I'm not only off my walking for exercise thing, but also off my food, too. I don't feel like caring what I eat, even though it's always in the back of my mind. I'm off soda for good, I know, and I'm not eating a whole lot lately. Not out of starvation, just because I'm sick and pretty sure I'm dehydrated. If I lose weight come weigh-in Friday, I'll be amazed.

You know, waif-thin Kate Moss once said, "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Obviously she has no taste buds, seeing as how she could have slipped through the cracks between floorboards if she turned the wrong way.

Shock and awe

^That's what I'll feel if I actually lose weight come this weigh-in on the 14th. I feel like a stalwart, like I'm not going anywhere. That's partly contributed to the awesomely crappy weather, which makes me hurt down to my bones and I am not going to walk and/or play outside in the rain/gale winds/cold. It's also contributed to the fact that I sort of momentarily stopped caring what I ate. I mean, I haven't been binging and eating whatever comes down my path, but I've stepped out of my healthy circle and seem to be choosing foods more for comfort than anything.

I'm sure there's a logical explanation for this, and if someone were to delve deep into my psyche, they'd uncover the reason for my weight, and my eating patterns, and my mindset. For those reasons alone, I don't want anyone to do that. I don't want to unearth reasons and discover more about my inner self. I want to choose the lifestyle that's best for me, and not what some overpaid head shrinker can tell me in 50 minutes or less.

Moving and the huge upheaval my life is going to take is more than likely the culprit. I'm stressed and worried and nervous about a whole ton of things - school, work, finding a new job, moving, money - and finding the motivation to care about what I eat falls low on the list. I know this won't happen once I actually move and get settled, but in the meantime, well ... that's all I gots to say about that.

I realize that weigh-in is only 11 days away, and I'm going to do my best to pull it together and make it a good one. Just 3 more pounds and I think I officially hit welter-weight ... or something like that.