Frown :(

Another four pounds down. I'm never going break land-speed records with a loss of one pound per week, but that makes it 12 pounds gone since January. Well, since January 15th, when the first weigh-in was. I feel down, though. Shouldn't I be happy I lost 12 pounds? That's more than a lot of people, right?

I could probably celebrate in my happy news if it wasn't for this co-worker who thinks she's God's Gift to Nutrition and Fitness. She says she works out two hours a day, at least five days a week. She's the one that cut out flour, sugar, meat, etc. and all this stuff. Of course she's going to rapidly lose weight, it's like being at the fat farm. You think all those people on the Biggest Loser got that way on their own? No ... they spent 16 hours a day working out and eating right, with personal trainers and life coaches. Of course they'll drop it quickly.

If I had someone to watch my son for a blessed two-hour interval every day, I'd spend some of it working out, sure. However, I don't. I don't have someone to cook for me and watch my child, like she does. If I didn't work while he was at school, sure - I'd have time to work out and firm up. But I don't. So she stands around talking about how much weight she's lost, and how good she feels and looks, and all of her fitness tips and routines and what she ate and stuff until I feel like smothering her with that exercise ball she's always talking about. Or maybe choking her with the stop chain from the treadmill. It might make me feel better, sure, but I can't afford bail.

Once she started going on and squealing about how much weight she'd lost, and having everyone gather around to tell her how awesome she was for losing that weight, I cried. I know I'm different, everyone is different, some people lose weight at slower paces than others and that it shouldn't matter how much I lost, I'm still losing ... but it hurt. No one congratulates me on how well I'm doing, I just keep plugging along with no accolades, knowing that I'm feeling thinner inside but my outside hasn't caught up to my mind yet.

I just want to start this day over.